I really promise myself that I'm changing . For good . Quit my player life , and control myself and my desire . Honestly I'm not sexually active . Player doesn't mean sexually active and all those stuff you know . I'm cultivating myself to learn and feel the true meaning of love . Be patient Nurul . Things will go right someday . Make this last and forever please . Please open mummy's heart to him God . Loving him means so much to me .

Just now was no school . Went to straightened things out with Hizwan between our past scandalous thingy . It has been over for a ' long ' time. Yeah people might say , once a player always a player ,well , sometimes those people might be wrong . We became players due to how guys and people treat us .Especially for girls , best advice is never be one . Guys don't loose out . You girls do . Sometimes , guys just overlooked things and they feel the world is theirs . Whats safe is , always jual mahal . Save yourself for the best ok . You should know what I mean . Being a player for me was never easy . It needs MONEY , BRAINS and QUICK DIVISION of TIME , BEST LIES and NEVER REGRET ATTITUDE . Now , for me , the never regret attitude is fading . I've come to realise reality . I just want to be with him . I just missed his hugs and care . I really thank GOD for bringing him into my life . But , with every love , it has to come with sacrifice . Time . Time separates us and at the same time makes our love bloom every second . Trust should always be there no matter what .

To my dearest , you should know I'm refering to you . Although its just kenal and matair situation , its not infatuation . I hope this last .

I met Seri Nur Alisyah yesterday . Lepas rindu aku . Kak Nurul miss you lahs ! muahhs .