Its never easy being a girlfriend . In short I'm just confused . I really hate you bitches ok , people who tried to stole him from me ok . Seriously . Fine . I'm in the wrong to because why , I lied and hardly told the truth . But there is a fine reason behing that . How he treated me , yes , most of you would say thats how a boyfriend would always react . But to me its simply undespicable . I did nothing till he started playing behing me ok and fucked that minahrep ok . Whenever thing were serious , it took a wrong turn to be a joke for him . When things are funny and joking for me , its absolute serious for him . And now I'm facing the blame on me ? Excuse me , I became a player once because of that one thing ; that I can't accept the fact he fucked another bitch . I hate it ok . Now everything was me because of me . Why? He would keep on repeating you are the cause of this . Fuck . If he wants to play and stay in the shadows , I could play the same too . God gave me the strength to be patient with every single human . Patience has its tolerance . Just because I'm too busy working and I'm too blame ? It it even occur to his mind that during his National Service , I am the one that will suffer more ? It will be like 3 months inside and no meeting up till after that duration . Why can't he understand and put me in this state . Honestly , I'm suffering deeply . I need guidance . Please give me a guide , a clue to solve all this . Give me the courage to face his ignorance and his words of poison . Please make him realise that I'm fading and I cannot hold on like this forever . Yes , things were over but it wasn't for long . Now , its leftovers are me and only me suffering deeply . The pain i suffer is daily . Every minute and every second I loved hubby brings deep cuts to my heart . Yes , smiles , laughter and happiness but all those can only last a while. To be honest , the wounds are still fresh and its yet to bleed again . I hardly can create an pure smile and laughter with tears again . Its only with my sys love ; Saracine and my family that it can be created once in a blue moon . I used to believe love was forever and there were no limits till now . Behind love , there will always be tears and torn hearts. He was my grown addiction . My used to be pleasure , my power but now my pain . From that moment , I never believed the person I'm attached to that he really loves me . Its only through his actions that i can feel and see that he is sincere with me. Theres so much a man can tell you , there is so much he can say . Will I be cured , will I be able to go through this pain ? Everything is a question mark to me now .
To that person , why must you come at this time ? You left me all by myself . Why this point of time . You know how much I missed you . You want me to wait but no , I can't . I'm not in a state of making any decisions now . Low in confidence . Till end of this month ? I'm not making any promises with any guys yet . No. Not in this state ok . Please let me rest in peace . I give up .
